22 Jan Three reasons why marriages stay unhappy

Are you in an unhappy marriage or relationship? If so, what keeps it that way?

Here are three common experiences that I hear about from partners in unhappy marriages and relationships. Do any of these apply to you?

1. You believe you’re not worth anything better:

The relationships we choose say a lot about our own level of self worth and esteem. What you believe you deserve is likely to dictate what you’ll get.

What are your beliefs about how lovable you are, and what you deserve from love?

If you’ve settled for a marriage or relationship that’s unhappy, set your expectations higher. When you respect yourself more, your relationship will automatically change for the better.

2. You hold onto resentments and grudges:

Everyone feels let down or ripped off by their partner sometimes. But holding grudges keeps relationships stuck in blame and generates ongoing toxicity. If you’re holding grudges, it’s time to let them go.

What would your marriage be like without your resentments and grudges?

There’s no room for resentments and grudges in happy relationships. Forgive. Your relationship will thank you for it.

3. You focus on your partner’s faults, rather than your own:

It’s much easier to see other people’s faults than our own. Believing that your partner is to blame for everything that’s not right in your relationship is usually delusional. (Abusive relationships are the exception here: if you’re in one, talk to a trusted friend, family member, or health practitioner).

Whatever fault you’ve identified in your partner may actually be a fault that you can’t see so easily in yourself. What could you do differently that would make your relationship happier?

Two people create a marriage, so whether it’s happy or unhappy is always a shared responsibility. Focusing on being the best partner that you can be is a great way to help your relationship thrive.

Want to learn more about changing an unhappy marriage or relationship? Contact Pamela here, and let’s get started. Sunshine Holistic Counselling is all about helping couples create love that lasts, and relationships that thrive.

Tags:

couples counselling, marriage counselling, relationship advice

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Pamela is a psychotherapist and naturopath specialising in relationship counselling for couples, individuals, co-parents, and families. Pamela empowers people with the skills they need to create great personal wellbeing and relationships that thrive.

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Gus, Marcoola
"I was referred to Pamela for marriage counselling and from the very first meeting I knew I was safe in her expert hands. She clearly has a strong passion for what she does and had the ability to teach me skills that identified with my specific needs. She approached every meeting with a level of genuine yet professional empathy and warmth. Had I not met Pamela, my life would likely still be full of miscommunication and unhappiness, but with her help I have a much brighter, happier life to look forward to. I often joked with my friends that if every person had a Pamela in their lives, the world would be a much happier place"
Annabelle, Alexandra Headland
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Bec and Dave, Coolum
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Jan and Steven, Eumundi
"After just six sessions we both can't believe how much our marriage has changed. We've let go of resentments that we've carried for years, found solutions to parenting challenges, and re-ignited the feelings that got us together in the first place. Wish we'd found you years ago. Thank you so much for your professionalism, humour, and smart ideas".
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Kate, Maroochydore
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Levi, Buderim
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Ben, Sunshine Coast
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George & Lee, Sunrise Beach
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Cara, Eumundi
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Nick, Doonan
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Phoebe, Caloundra
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Felicity, Buderim
“Pamela’s practical and empathic approach to our marriage counselling sessions have given hope to a situation that we thought was hopeless! We are so grateful that we found her!”
Jill and Evan, Noosa Heads
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Cody, Noosa Heads
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Steve and Megan, Buddina
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Chris and Dale, Maroochydore

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22 Jan Three reasons why marriages stay unhappy

1. You believe you’re not worth anything better:

2. You hold onto resentments and grudges: